Shedding light on the Brock cross code

By Steve Orme on Nov 20, 12 03:04 PM

TWO billion English pounds is to be spent ensuring wildlife can cross the road in safety. This includes getting badgers to the other side without them being turned into interesting fireside rug material.

This fits in marvellously with the planned culling of ol' stripy next year when those saved can be shot at yet further cost in the cause of halting bovine tuberculosis

At the same time the Government admitted it had plunged 121 miles of motorway to help save the planet, if not the people on it.

Some of the lights switched off are in foggy damp spots. Excellent idea!

The AA, for one, is not impressed and quite rightly. "Sort sighted," was its rather adroit verdict.

Firstly it will never be written in the chronicles of any pioneering alien race discovering a burnt out earth that is was the street lights wot done it.

Secondly I'll take my chances on the evil sodium element ending polar bear life as we know it over divvies negotiating pitch black motorways using full beam.

The switch-off occurs at midnight, at which time all good folk should be tucked up with a wife. This presumably is because motorway traffic drops away at this time as so safety considerations can be relaxed. I suggest you do not try that one if stopped for exceeding 80mph on an empty M6 in the early hours. It won't wash.

Meanwhile in more important news randy toad passes, bat boxes, and badger tunnels are being installed at 14 motorway sites. No doubt with signs instructing wildlife just how to use them. In the relevant dialects, obviously.

Badgers are, of course, nocturnal, much like MPs. They should be instructed immediately, if not sooner, on how to cross Britain's new, exciting unlit roads.

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