February 2010 Archives

The Association of British Drivers, an august body which should be given its on spot in the Trooping of the Colours, marching in highly polished ceremonial goggles and tan string backed driving gloves, has drawn attention to the importance of four-wheel drive in bad weather.

They also point out that many more people would be driving off roaders were it not for the threat of being taxed to within an inch of destitution and having social services remove their children on the grounds of climate crime.

Right were off again lads.

Hot on the heels of the memorable but soon to fade away scrappage scheme comes the snappily named Plug-In Car Grant, part of cry-baby Gordon's £230m ultra-low carbon programme, or walking as many know it.

At first glance Ann Summers, the superior ladies hosiery retailer, and Peugeot are not two brands one normally expects to find in the same sentence.

And at second glance this is confirmed.
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So now we know; Toyota grew too quickly. It went from a Yaris to a Landcruiser in the blinking of an eye but forgot to take its IQ along with it.

I'm beginning to wonder if our Akio is getting his excuses from the cabinet office.

When able seaman Prescott was chief bar steward at the transport department we were told that the only way to save the beluga whale and society as a whole was to get on a train.
In the socialist utopia that exists in the privacy of many a politician's delusions the people are taught to joyfully embrace the idea of cheek by jowl daily railway intimacy, to rub body parts with those whose understanding of soap stops at the Queen Vic.

This has to be the most depressing intro of the year: "With 2011 looming, Ring Automotive has launched a new Daytime Running Lamp called the Lyra."

If you like a screamer, drool over performance but don't have any embarrassing dribbles it's a happy Monday.

A limited edition Honda Civic Type R featuring exclusive MUGEN equipment will go on sale in April.

Scarcely has a political programme started recently than the sackcloth is rent asunder and there is a wailing an gnashing of teeth. This is surely the first time we have seen a party attempt to weep its way back into office.

Taking the biscuit, if not the crumb of comfort, we have Alastair Campbell the man who put the bull into bullying. You can't go around being the local media hard case then suddenly burst into tears because Andrew Marr suggests your work of fiction is a work of fiction. That's like John Terry claiming to be good with colours.

The Guild of Experienced Motorists (GEM) has issued a timely warning to those of a romantic disposition, this being the week of the St Valentines Day massacre and all that.

GEM, tending by its very nature to be attractive to drivers not in the first flush of outdoor sexual activity, has warned of the dangers of getting marooned down lovers' lane on Sunday.

Frankly the Toyota story is starting to annoy me now almost as much as the office noddy who announces at least once a day that more snow is coming. What, in winter?

So, here we have the biggest selling car maker west of the asteroid belt which finds a fault, recalls at huge expense a load of cars then finds another fault on another model.