Things are tougher than we thought. Not only as a nation are we collectively scrabbling about down the back of the sofa to fund a modest bird but it seems this Christmas will be without a wholesome visit to the panto.

Things are tougher than we thought. Not only as a nation are we collectively scrabbling about down the back of the sofa to fund a modest bird but it seems this Christmas will be without a wholesome visit to the panto.

Only 24% of British families plan a beanstalk or mother goosing outing this Yule, most others saying they will settle for prime minister's questions when they fancy a good fairytale or two.

The cost of taking a family to Cinderella is between £60 and £108 depending where in the UK you choose to watch a gaggle of has been soap stars and Radio 2 vicars perform the seminal works of Hans Christian Twanky.
So, despite the obvious attraction of Boris and Ken, the London epic Dick Whittington is looking pretty unloved but not as rejected as Bozza's other production, Goldilocks which has been voted least popular two hours of mindless drivel after An Inconvenient Truth.
Obviously, what with diversity and the rest of it, Snow White is right off the agenda.
For this illuminating insight into the social and economic plight of UK PLC we have General Motors' Chevrolet arm to thank.
And to ensure third world Englishland enjoys some festive cheer, the Yanks are coming in the form of a Captiva converted into a small music hall which will pull up in a town near you for a spot of free in-car pantomime.
personally I fancy The Jack and the Wiper Stalk or Little Red Riding with the Hood Down. Maybe Aladdin and the Blue Lamp, a story of safety partnerships, would amuse.
Or Sleeping Beauty. The one where Prince Mandelson kisses the board of GM which wakes up to the recession coming to a end and calls off its Magna deal.
Now that's what you call a pantomime