Renault Kangoo DCi Expression - just the car for homo lifestylus

In America these are known as Republicans and don't think we should do anything about Earth's ecological fate, because it is none of our Goddamn business.
They could have a point. Nature has a nasty habit of being pretty red of tooth and claw, the ethos of natural selection is disharmony. One species will leg it up the knotted pine at the expense of another and without calamity spawning adaptation Darwin may well have finished his life's work shortly after lunch on day one.
Were he out and about with his butterfly net and HB pencil now, Charlie would have been as excited as a fizgig, speculating how human kind had evolved to need a car shaped like the Renault Kangoo.
Well, in a nutshell, what he would have found was homo lifestylus.
It may appear potato mankind is inclined to vegetate in front of theTV, watching documentaries about toenail cancer but more and more are getting stuck into nature's ample bosom through cycling, canoeing and cagoule fancying.
In the circumstances good sense would dictate a robust 4x4 but that would be the last act of a social lemming. The acceptable choice confirms at a glance you don't actually care as much about cars as you do about couscous. A car shaped to have the acceleration of coastal erosion. The sort of car people believe will ensure your great-great grandchildren will not grow flippers.
Costing a socially responsible £14,000 the six-speed 106bhp diesel Expression comes complete with rear loft storage and little airline-style tables in the backs of its seats. Consumption is a frugal 50mpg and band F tax £125, making the Kangoo almost vegetarian.
On the road the Kangoo is just about able to keep up with traffic but handles like a car and is a composed ride by virtue of sharing Scenic underpinnings.
None of which is as important as what happens inside.
With genetic roots in the plumbing trade, the Kangoo is a 3,000 litre cave. However, unlike most caves it has some seats, and these fold easily into a vast, flat load space.
There is plenty of safety and urban living equipment like parking sensors and multiple air bags as well as electric windows and mirrors. No one is going to get excited about the view from the driver's seat, all the things you need and none you don't.
But storage. Ah, now you're talking. It would be easy to lose an Amazonian tribe in here. There are more pouches than a kangaroo farm and more storage compartments than a shoplifter's coat.
And because it is French, there's a 'smoker pack.'
Buy one and inevitably there will tiresome Postman Pat jokes. But come on, you're hard, you think nothing of riding around the countryside dressed in a yellow day-glo condom.
As for the future, if in two or three hundred years the ecological collapse and mass extinction circus comes to town, according to the University of California, a few hundred thousand survivors will eek out a Stone Age existence. What about the shiny motor car then, eh? What of its evolution?
Well, I foresee a wooden chassis, roughly hewn granite wheels and owners called Fred and Wilma. Yabbadabadoo!