October 2009 Archives

There is going to be a show, a big show, with fast cars, at Earls Court and to publicise it a Gatling gun volley of press releases peppered my inbox this week.

The great thing about the climate debate is that there are so many 'truths' out there that, as in the glory days of off the peg high street tailoring, you will almost certainly find one to suit you.

Therefore this week Gordon Brown was able to tell the dolphin bothering community that he has 50 days to save the world and must get on immediately with wearing his underpants outside his trousers.

This has been Darwin's year. Actually, his 200th year. I often wonder what he would make of the hand-wringing whingeing 21st century human animal.

He almost certainly would have been amazed that, this far on, so many creationists still think of mankind as a 6,000 year old product of God's Etch A Sketch.

I'm known to do a bit of worrying about the subjects students can be awarded a degree in these days.

You know the sort of thing, Puppetry (Central Drama School, London), Gambling Studies (Salford) and advanced kennel hygiene (most ex-polytechnics).

These are hard times for conspicuous consumption in't north.

No sooner do the Conservatives set about essential missionary work in Manchester than Eric Pickles declares a ban on the consumption of t'shampain.

Families, I have heard it said, are like a box of fudge. In the main sweet but likely to contain the odd nut.

Generally speaking the animal kingdom is well ahead of mankind on the subject of relatives, preferring to kick the kids out at a tender age, saving a fortune on course fees and car insurance.

Ricky Whittle, course you do, the one from Hollyoaks, favourite to win Strictly, well, anyway, he's bought a Lambo.

Good man yourself, Rik, or Ric or even Mr C Quinns.