Honda CRV 2.2 CTDi EX road test

By Steve Orme on Jul 20, 09 02:26 PM

Air travel is a large part of this job, thankfully in a manner harking back to the days when Gatwick Airport was a field in Croydon and men boarded aeroplanes wearing trilby hats and carrying a Macintosh, in case the pilot wanted the top down.

Of course it's not all frolics but often, after driving on roads with a view an eagle would give its right wing for, through little traffic barring the odd goatist and his herd of lunch, the journey ends with the chef at Bodegas Costapacket seeking approval for a simple menu of swan stuffed with gilded pig and oysters in a light sauce of diamonds.

A sharp contrast to our last package holiday, memorable for a departure lounge resembling the Calais Sangetti camp in shorts and a taxi ride from the airport which clearly funded a major slice of Ronaldo's transfer to Madrid.
This year we stayed in the UK, arguably acceptable because if God had meant us to lie in the sun we would be pegged out as a rite of passage by the Apache and because by driving a modern diesel car rather than flying we would save at least two planets and countless baby polar bears.
Added to which I had no intention of starting another vacation in a refugee camp.
So, as the only bit of England worth visiting is half way to Brittany, I am greeting you today from the M5, midway between Birmingham and scrumpy oblivion, driving a 43mpg, £25,000 Honda 2.2 CRV CTDi EX. Not a single goat has crossed my path but the 'chef' at Hell's Kitchen services did ask me if I wanted him to go large for an extra 50p.
Actually the term 'driving' is not strictly accurate. The EX is fitted with adaptive cruise control. Set the speed and a radar keeps you two chevrons distance from the car in front, applying the brakes if you someone fills the gap but then picking up acceleration without any intervention from the most dangerous part of any car. The nut behind the wheel.
From which I learnt the world of cat litter sales is cutthroat to the point that footsoldiers have to don their non-iron shirts even on a Saturday for sessions of tactical tailgating and experimental overtaking manoeuvres.
If you, too, see the Highway Code as a serving suggestion there is also the option of Collision Mitigating Braking which works out just how short of IQs a driver is before sounding alarms and applying brakes.
Thankfully then, the EX is largely leather inside with high quality trim resistant to invective, vitriol and blazing ire.
The CRV isn't fast, I don't think you would expect it be. The six-speed manual will hit 60 in 10.3 seconds and tops out at 116mph. Honda has opted for economy and efficiency and ride quality before frothy excitement.
Of course, because we are staying in blighty, packing began at on New Year's Day and now the entire kit and camp followers of the Rommel's Afrika Korps is testing the luggage space, cleverly equipped with a parcel shelf that can be covered by a security blind.
The giddy height of the seating will be a major attraction as will an impressive equipment manifest, all the usual bum-warming creature comfort fittings, Bluetooth and sat nav are standard.
A sharp right onto the beach track triggers the part-time Honda all-wheel drive system. Good enough when, for most owners, driving off the tarmac comes under heading 'accident.'
Bringing us to our destination. I hope you have enjoyed today's short flight and ask you to remain seated with your seatbelt fastened while I remove an annoying BMW driver from the reversing camera.