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Steve Orme

Trinity Mirror Regionals Driving Force columnist STEVE ORME gives his take on everything from the car with the biggest cup holders (Ford Edge, 20oz) to congestion charges and how your money is spent getting toads safely across the road. It's motoring but not as you know it ...

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July 2008 Archives

Tesco to sell cars? Well, every little helps

Posted by Steve Orme on July 30, 2008 1:17 PM

So, Tesco is going to sell cars. They will be delivered to buyers' homes in the same way the supermarket delivers groceries.
That'll be in a small box van then, for a £5 fee.
I look forward to the full might and culture of the supermarket experience being transferred to the struggling world of car retail.
Will there be two for one offers or will disgruntled customers simply be told to bog off?
Will there be club card points on cars and extra ones for people reusing their old models?
What will be the Tesco policy on free range vehicles like 4x4s? Coming soon, Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall on the scandal of the battery batteries.
Presumably there will be more then one specification in each range; finest, standard and value. Not forgetting the healthy organic option at a large premium.
When buying a car will punters be offered help with their packing and have the chance to donate small change to the local junior cricket club?
And most importantly; will Tesco undertake to open another road if more than two cars are queuing at the traffic lights?

Ford Mondeo TDCI estate road test

Posted by Steve Orme on July 28, 2008 9:44 AM

Family cars can be dificult. They are are all things to all men. As a golden rule there must be nothing about a volume seller that could be described as 'different'.
Remember the first Sierra? That was different. So different, it brought with it an unprecedented boost in sales.
For the Vauxhall Cavalier.
And French cars have suffered for their art to the extent that Citroen now prefers to be thought of as German.
What makes episodes with family favourites so difficult is there is only so much you can say about cargo nets, under seat storage and cup holders. Almost immediately we are into Isofix child seats and, frankly, I would rather write about my socks.
There is always going to be a lot more inspiration to be had behind the wheel of a Mitsubishi Evo, or Jaguar XKR. Or even a Daihatsu Materia.
The trouble is that driving a car identifiably fast and expensive is likely to get you stoned to death by enviro-trogs. Driving a model that attracts band Gordon tax is about as socially inclusive as a Herod Was Right T-shirt in a childrens hospital.
Then there's the cost of a tank of petrol, which in today's money is at least two essential body parts and your eldest daughter.
Go for the 900cc Funky Chicken Flatpack if you must, there is plenty to admire and enjoy but colleagues will laugh as surely as if you turn up at work wearing slippers.
Landing us painfully on the horns of a dilemma. You have a need for family transport with some room for a modern hobby like organic kite flying or off-road Tai chi. What you don't want is branding a planet murderer or to be seen driving a car inspired by Emperor Hirohito's hat.
For you then, the Ford Mondeo estate is a well priced dog and two kids option. For me it's a week in Frinton.
Actually there is something surprising about the Mondeo, it can carry more than the closely related antique dealers' favourite Volvo V70. A useful 145-litres more. Good Lord, that's almost a whole David Dickinson. In fact it is almost as big as the fat old Scorpio in which several lost tribes of the Andes could be hidden and parts of Shergar.
Thankfully it is also much better looking if less dramatic. See Sierra, above.
The engine range is huge, from a sand-in-its-face 109bhp to muscular 2.5 five-cylinder. Diesels range from 99bhp 1.8s to the 172bhp, six-speed 2.2-litre TDCi which we will look at today.
Surprise number two is performance. A top speed of 139mph and 0-60mph in 8.2 seconds is not at all bad for a car with the capacity of Lake Windermere. In fact these are numbers that put the Mondeo in BMW 5-Series and Merc E-class territory. For around two-grand less, more for the Merc. And in standard form the Ford does not come fitted out as a cave.
Driving dynamics are hardly a compromise, either. You can choose the options of interactive control with sport, normal and comfort settings but don't bother. The Mondeo is set up for great grip levels, free of wallow in the corners and punching well above its class weight.
No one can argue about the amount of kit you get. Even entry level Edge versions come with air conditioning and 2.2 comes only at Titanium X level which means pretty18-inch alloys and shiny twin exhausts are standard as is Bluetooth, leather trim, automatic wipers and lights. All for £25, 100
There, that wasn't so difficult. It's just an ordinary family car that isn't at all ordinary.

The alternatve to restraint is bank robbery Ford Focus ECOnetic road test

Posted by Steve Orme on July 15, 2008 12:40 PM


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LOOK, it depresses me as much as it depresses you but oil may reach $170 a barrel before the conker season or the bubble bursts.
Everyone has their own idea about how this may happen. Perhaps the oil fairy will magically boost OPEC production by 3,000 per cent or the elusive Iraq reserve will come pouring out of domestic taps.

Kia sales rocket - dont be a fool over badge prejudice

Posted by Steve Orme on July 13, 2008 12:32 PM

Just to stay with the theme of how to survive with less money, every cloud has a silver lining as your gran used to say.
She didn’t? Miserable old parrot.

Petrol prices will see Gordon Brown out of office

Posted by Steve Orme on July 11, 2008 12:16 PM

According to the AA, members of the public are likely to revolt against Gordon Brown at the next election not because stabbing is the new street hockey or the polar bears might be melting or even because we seem no closer to bringing or troops home from Afghanistan but because of the cost of motoring.

Out here in the field, I fight for my meals - carbooting gets a boost

Posted by Steve Orme on July 25, 2008 4:30 PM

boot

'The nationwide tightening of purse strings has resulted in more Brits than ever choosing to spend their weekends with their heads value hunting in other people's cars with the old-fashioned boot sale enjoying a modern renaissance. An estimated 19.4 million (41 per cent) UK adults say they intend to rummage through three or more car boot sales this summer, with 71 per cent visiting at least one - an increase of 8 per cent compared to last year's boot sale attendance.'
I quote in this instance from a Chevrolet press release. And I can tell you it is with a heavy heart.
If there is one thing that would reduce congestion around my way it wold be less car boot sales.
Once it may have been a laugh to go and visit your own stolen fishing tackle or see how your lawn mover was getting along but now they are a festival of sinking Titanic slides and dodgy vacuum packed meats.
The idea that economic downturn is putting retail opportunities in fields higher up the must see list for families fills me with horror.
The only thing you should buy from a field is a horse. Or perhaps a sheep.
Perhaps Chevvy will be suggesting to its dealers that to cut costs they start flogging this inexpensive range out in the grasslands.

Skoda Scout road test -gather round the camp fire, lads

Posted by Steve Orme on July 23, 2008 4:03 PM

The British Steam Challenge, Charles Burnett's bid to beat the land speed record for a kettle is a classic story of men In sheds led by a visionary with a good strong hammer.
The original record of 127.7mph was set by Fred Marriot in 1907 driving, or puffing or whatever, a Stanley Steamer, which sounds like it may have also done a nice line in healthy vegetables.
This latest attempt is a Boys Own story of Empire-building ingenuity with the added dash of romance that the test driver of Primus One is Don Welsh, grandson of Sir Malcolm Campbell.
Actually, the car is called Inspiration and essentially water is boiled using camping gas. No trees were injured in the making of this car.
On the face of it this should be welcome. But it's not. Before you can say Stephenson this idea will be taken up by the barmy green army and James Watt and his inspirational cup of tea paraded as the saviours of the age.
For heaven's sake be careful. The lethal combination of camping stoves and water has turned countless car boots into blazing saunas in English lay-bys.
An everyday steam car is not new ground. In 1996 VW developed ZEE, a steam engine designed to fit in a Skoda Fabia.
Bringing things nicely to another Skoda. The Octavia Scout.
The Scout is an alternative, for those who need some low key 4x4 scrambling ability, to the ubiquitous crossover.
Riding 40mm higher than the standard Octavia estate we are talking gravelly caravan capers here, this is not one for muddy farming types who get their cloth caps off ebygum-bay.
Powering all this a a choice of two-litre petrol of turbodiesel engine. The six-speed petrol Scout reaches 60mph in 10 seconds, tops out at 122mph and averages 35mpg. At 207 gm/km you will be paying tax in band F.
Traction is by an automatic clutch which kicks in the all-wheel drive when it detects slippage.
On the road it's sharp enough with plenty of mid-range power in reserve. Strandard 17 inch alloys make for a firm ride but you won't arrive home feeling you have gone a week on a camel.
Equipment is a big plus. The list of braking and traction aids reads like companies in the banking sector. ESP, ABS, MBA, MSR, ASR, EDL, HBA. You tell me.
There is also privacy galss, parking sensors, cruise, lots of chromed prettiness, electric windows, air bags and the famed Jumbo Box , an air conditioned storage compartment betweenthe front seats wth an MP3 socket for cool music.
There are a lot of good things cooking at Skoda these days. With an acceptable level of options, sat nav and Xenon headlights steering for instance, fitted to FSi its cost heads towards £20,000. Umm, the Scout may be a tasty alternative to crossovers but it's not one to get all steamed up over.

4x4 sales slump and so to those of hippy dreams

Posted by Steve Orme on July 21, 2008 4:00 PM

Here are a couple to ponder.
'Parker's guide reveals why owners of large petrol 4x4s could find themselves stuck as dealers steer clear of thirsty off-roaders...'
Ah, that'll be because no body can afford to run them.
Cheers Gordon. Save the earth and goose the economy. Genius, sheer genius.
Also announced this week; The Changing Times, a bimonthly magazine for the environmentally aware and spiritually minded reader, has suspended publication.
Surely the market for self righteous hippy daydreams isn't dwindling.

Kia to sponsor Rafa Nadal again- so what's your problem?

Posted by Steve Orme on July 17, 2008 2:54 PM

nadal.jpg
Yes, yes, I know I go on a bit about badge prejudice but I really belive there are people, from food shoppers who won't be seen dead in Aldi to clothes label slaves who waste precious pounds they could have invested on the markets. Like me, then you really would have something to worry about.
Cars are the prime one. Go on, swallow your sinful pride and buy one of the emerging cheaper makes.
Beneath you?
Well how about this.
Mr Rafa Nadal, the tennis racketeer and all round good looking cove is n ot sponsored by BMW or Audi, the natural bedfellows of such a polite sport but by Kia.
Kia has a long standing association with tennis sponsorship. This January, Kia extended its multi-million U.S. dollar partnership with the Australian Open to become the major sponsor until 2013. Kia has further broadened its relationship with tennis through its official worldwide sponsorship of the Davis Cup and association with tennis stars such as Andre Agassi and, more recently, with Rafael Nadal as global brand ambassador.
Which means he drives one of their cars.
And if he can you can. Mrs Bucket.

Love thy neighbour - even if he watches Top Gear

Posted by Steve Orme on July 16, 2008 1:15 PM

Writing in Her majesty's Daily Telegraph, Gill Hornby (who she?-ed) says the end is in sight for top gear as we speed ever faster towards the end of oil, polar bear murder, fun, white goods and the world as we know it.
She says that in the hair shirted late noughties glorifying and laughing at speed and conspicuous carbon consumption is about as relevant as the 70s 'comedy' Love Thy Neighbour, famously recalled by Bill Bryson as 'My Neighbour is a Darkie' and now so racially abhorrent it is impossible to even contemplate a re-run. Thank the stars for that.
So, Ms Hornblower, do we return to the days of Top Gear with exciting ex-Spitfire pilot Raymond Baxter and the equally stimulating William Woolard?
Back then it was all boot load levels and SU carbs. A warming so up of functionality in a range of lovely colours including brown. Who in their right mind would drive a brown car? Winnie the Pooh?
The whole point of the show, for which I hold no brief although Hammond was a decent enough chap when working for the Renault press office, is that it entertains.
That's why there are differing styles of motoring writer. Some can do sums but are about as entertaining as matins with the heating off. Others come at it without a calculator or torque converter in sight. Whatever one of those is.
Stat questioning if it is right to find cars and driving entertaining and before you know it the thought police will have won the day at the BBC and motoring programmes will be about sustainable diversity and cars powered by folk music.
Ms Hornby says that with the rising price of oil and the world coming apart around our ears, we are gong to have men our ways and temper opinions.
No we are not, anymore than people stopped going out at nights during the blitz.
The end of the world is not nigh. Not even the beginning of the end.

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