Look out for inter stellar scrap metal raiders
Today the National Archives Office opens its files on reported UFO sightings from the ‘80s. Before you rush off to have a wee glimpsey, they were all Adam Ant’s makeup bag and new romantic hair cuts.
If there is a rash of contacts and landings this year, our visitors will be inter stellar scrap metal merchants.
If ever a species got lumbered with unlucky physics its the humans. Think about it. Everything we really depend on is buried in the ground, oil, iron ore and potatoes. Imagine how much happier people would be if chips grew on trees.
Anyway, the thing is that all this difficult to get out of the ground stuff is expensive, lately very expensive so more and more people have resorted to just nicking it.
You might think a pile of old exhaust pipes was of little interest to anyone, unless they were refitting a church organ, or Red Dwarf. But my local scuffers have been called to a daylight robbery of old back boxes and manifolds.
It gets worse. No doubt your car has a catalytic converter. These were the things that were going to save the planet from, er, oh something that never happened. They are a prime theft target.
Inside one, the catalyst is platinum and something else more precious than turkey foil.
The most popular targets are 4x4s because it is easy to access their undersides.
Advice from the rozzers includes parking in a secure place and keeping an eye open for people lying under cars. Bear in mind they could be doing legitimate repair work or have genuinely been run over.
Strangers carrying catalytic converters up the street are also worthy of suspicion. Especially if they are under four-feet tall and have a green complexion.
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