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Steve Orme

Trinity Mirror Regionals Driving Force columnist STEVE ORME gives his take on everything from the car with the biggest cup holders (Ford Edge, 20oz) to congestion charges and how your money is spent getting toads safely across the road. It's motoring but not as you know it ...

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Like a bull in a car showroom - Ford Kuga meets its match in Spain

Posted by Steve Orme on May 22, 2008 10:56 AM | 

Not the best couple of weeks for Scotland and its braves.
Whining Rangers fans who blamed the city of Manchester for failing to run out enough red carpet for their drunken one-nighter are not flavour of the month. Well except it seems with one police dog.

Further afield other animals have also taken badly against the Celts.
Reports are filtering through from Jerez of incidents on a weekend launch event for the Ford Kuga, attended by the Scottish motoring writers and their bonnie wee lassies, involving a bull angered at repeated use of the off-road course set up by Ford.
All Snr Bull wanted was to chew his grass and maybe get lucky with the ladies but no, for weeks and weeks a procession of European motoring journos paraded past him, some tastelessly singing Little White Bull by Tommy Steele.
I recall when we drove through, Mrs Orme remarked on his long face and wondered aloud if there may be steak for dinner.
Eventually angered beyond control, the bull made several passes at the kilted ones as they came off the last stretch of the course.
Following up the rear was a doyen of motoring journalism, Mr Eric Dymock. Unimpressed by his authorship of several important motoring books or his impressive record as correspondent for the London Times, the bull charged at and severely damaged the Kuga he was driving.
Interviewed later it said it was not to blame, the farmer was unfit to hold such a big event and it was a disgrace that big screen coverage of the Scots in the bar had failed.

Why cars should be available on the NHS (part 235).
Police boarded a bus in London and confiscated 16 weapons from passengers.
The last time I looked, there were no deadly weapons in my car. At worst I have been known to carry a chainsaw but it’s a bit difficult to conceal about the person.
Last night, using the train for once, I could understand some of the sentiment of people who go about the public transport system tooled up.
One plant pot had his iPod turned up full so we were all treated to a racket like a hissing snake knocking biscuit tins over in his clearly empty head, another was swilling super strength lager while tutoring his two young children for their swearing examinations.
I do not subscribe to social oneness notions. I believe there are some people in the world who are incurable oxygen thieves.
That’s why I believe in the right to private transport and don’t lie awake at night worrying about the wellbeing of polar bears.
Or wondering how to get a carving knife on to the 5-15pm from Liverpool.

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