What counts as a cool car among the young is not what turns on the greys among us. They may oggle the Vauxhall VXR8 but it’s not cool. BMW’s 135 Coupe won’t even register in the world of ambient interior back lighting.

There’s a neighbour’s son, we’ll call him Kevin mainly because that’s his name. From the moment he was old enough to send off the provisional licence forms he has been behind the wheel of a car. I truly doubt Kevin would recognise a bus or know how to buy a train ticket.
In time honoured fashion he bought himself a half-decent hatchback, a 1.4 Corsa, and set about polishing it and fitting 17 stainless tail pipes. And I approved. Mainly because, reassuringly, if this was cool in the world of cargo pants and rap ‘artists’ called Poo Doggly, the cars that made me salivate were off his radar.
Then one day he came home in a Honda Civic Type- R.
So, I thought, it’s come to this. Where once was the adults only playground at the top of the Soroptomist-approved Civic range, we were to have bellybutton-studs and bass-only stereos. Thanks to relatively cheap insurance and a huge spare parts and accessories bin on the internet, the Type-R became favourite with young men who appeared to have had an accident in their trousers and girlfriends with clothes which didn’t meet in the middle.
The hot hatch fomerly known as dad’s car became the cool emblem of a club that excludes me because I sit in the shed during X-Factor, have a grudging respect for dancers in Strictly Ballroom and think Russell Brand is an unfunny ponce.
Honda, however, may just have redressed the balance by uncooling the Type-R.
You see the latest version has softened looks, smooth, more adult lines and a Star Trek fascia that demands concentration and an ability to read and write beyond the level of key stage three.
Oh, and because it is no faster to 60 at 6.6 seconds than the old one the Type-R has been overtaken in Facebook land by Renault, Ford and the Astra VXR.
In the new R I can drive to the retail park without being invited to donut.
Frankly, it matters not at all that Honda has used the same i-VTEC two-litre engine and urged just one extra horse out of it or that the ride is as hard as Joey Hatton. I love the styling, the GT’s £18,627 price tag, bucket seats the wrap around driving position and not having to worry that I don’t own a hoodie.
On top of that there’s no need to rev the engine to death before ownership has any point. The latest version is much more useful at lower speeds, maximum torque of 142lb-ft now peaks at 5,600rpm, rather than at 6,500rpm improving through the gears acceleration. Oh, and the steering has been improved. Massively.
Essentially in the new version you can make progress without a screamimg match. The Type-R is not going to kick off because you spilt its pop.
There are three doors only and standard or GT specification levels: The GT pack adds front fog ligh ts, dual-zone climate control, cruise control, side curtain airbags, a lockable glovebox, power-folding door mirrors and automatic headlights to a generous basic spec costing £17,600. See, that’s not cool, it’s sensible.
Young men with interesting skin problems and track dayers might be disappointed with Honda's decision to make this Type-R a little easier to live with, enthusiasts will despair at the employment of the torsion beam rear suspension from the less exciting Civics.
For the rest of us it's very welcome. But then youth is wasted on the young. And so is the Type-R.

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