Driving off without paying for petrol would no longer be an offence
What fabulous news. In the imagination of someone in Whitehall 24-hour licensing has resulted in a drop in violent crime.
Right, well the view from here is that since January 1 there have been 15 shootings in Liverpool, a handful of stabbings, countless beatings across the region, one resulting in death, no shortage of anecdotal violence on the streets of our north west resorts and market towns and a kick off in my village at least once a week and not always involving the same married couple.
But, no matter, because since we have been able to swill from noon untill night and back to noon once more, this clearly does not count as violent crime.
And so I have a proposal.
Clearly laissez faire is the way to go to ensure a reduction in naughtiness and less crime. Therefore let us do away with all speed restrictions and camera enforcement.
Judging by results in the drunk as a monkey department the accident rate will plummet and this will be reflected in zero prosecutions.
Any accidents you do see will clearly not really be there and applied across the whole of society I can see an end to burglary, armed robbery, sex offences and bad hair.
Already some nifty footwork in the Commons has clearly changed what constitutes fraud.
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