This week via the miracle of widescreen TV and a gaggle of thirsty sound engineers, a fat man on the island of Tuvalu in the Gilbert and Ellice Islands categorically blamed YOU for the fact that his shaky coral archipelago is sinking.
He was a member of those hardy south seas tribes that bravely moved from reef to sandbank in search of coconuts and the secret of the Bounty hunters. They also moved on a lot because their islands had a habit of sinking.
Or being called Krakatoa.

Of course he had an answer to the problem; rich nations should forthwith send money, plenty money, to the Gilbert and Sullivan outcrops where it would be used for, oh I don't know, boats if they have any sense.
Later some other luvvie was bemoaning having had to travel in a 4x4 because; “They are killing the planet, aren't they?” Er, no.
Then the EU published its directive for the next lot of quota swapping; Norway will be allowed 20 more kipper smokers if Spain can have its cod quota while the French will make huffing noises and shrug their shoulders a lot. Italy will be expected to buy less shoes and the UK is to attatch a small dynamo to every child’s windmill on a stick.
But not a word on how well the motor industry has done in cleaning up the air.
So I reproduce the following in full: “Today the European Commission published its directive on the next phase of the EU Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) and the UK motor industry is keen to reinforce its commitment to cutting carbon emissions. The automotive sector has consistently worked to be open and transparent on this matter and SMMT published its eighth annual sustainability report in October 2007. The UK Automotive Sector Sustainability Report shows the signatories reduced their overall CO2 emissions by 30 per cent and CO2 per vehicle produced in the UK, fell 41.7 per cent in five years. The full report can be downloaded free from www.smmt.co.uk/publications
I now expect a similar statement on a reduction in cow belches.

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