YOU may have woken this morning worried about collapsing house prices or fearful of who will be voted off Saturday’s Celebrity Come Dancing but here’s the really bad news. It’s only five weeks to Christmas.
Bloatfest is now so close, dealers are openly pushing Slimfast on street corners.
You could try something different this year. A Swedish Christmas dinner.
For this you will require the following; mustard coated ham, smoked eel, air-dried cod, red cabbage, two types of pickled herring, a slice of delicious elk sausage, red cabbage and that old favourite, knackebrod.

Now let’s dwell here for a moment. In temperatures that would cause stress fractures in an ornamental monkey, the Swedes choose to celebrate with cold fish and Ryvita. Meanwhile in semi-tropical Britain we are tucking into high-octane gravy and the traditional slow cooked sprouts.
The Swedish strength of identity shames our own mongrel indifference to roots. Roast turkey, for example, is American and sprouts, well where is Hercule Poirot from?
Swedish national identity is like their Christmas dinner, wholesome. The most controversial thing they ever exported was Abba.
Bringing us neatly, via an afternoon picking fresh lingonberries, to the Saab 9-3 bio-fuel.
Biofuel is a mix of petrol and ethanol derived from plants. Growing the veg converts carbon dioxide into oxygen, burning the fuel puts the CO2 back into the atmosphere to be photosynthesised again. There you have it, carbon recycling after the style of God.
This is not to be confused with chip fat diesel which is, er, diesel.
Furthermore carbon emissions from bioethanol are as much as 70per cent lower than those from petrol.
Now I know what you are thinking. Here we go again, another green machine that’s as sluggish as continental drift. This is where Saab claims to lead the way, by linking grass power to a turbo to produce the world’s first wholefood car that actually out performs the petrol version.
And that means what? Well the new two-litre six-speed 9-3 reaches 60mph in 7.6secs and has a top speed of 140mph. Typically power is increased by 20per cent.
Of course a biological action is not all there is to report on the latest 9.3. The £26,385 SportWagon has had a facelift. I think. But because it is a Saab, looks more or less the same.
It comes heavily equipped with devices to save your life and a leather steering wheel. The test car had eight grand of essential extras like electric leather seats, sat nav and a performance pack. Umm, I might not use the word bargain here.
As a drive it retains the antcipated solid Saab feel; a functional crisply designed interior, exceptional seats and handling you expect from a land of wandering elk and sub-zero winters.
So there you have it, a tasty organic Swedish treat that retains its strong sense of identity and shows that green need not be a dull colour. Merry Christmas.

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