A SERIES of adverts have been placed in computer gaming magazines by the Defence Science and Technology Laboratory for the recruitment of the next generation of spooks.
They feature a city under attack by space aliens suggesting the crack troops of the future will have a personal hygiene problem and terminally untidy bedrooms.
Candidates, however, will not be hairy bottomed members of the Argyle and SeeYou Jimmy Highlanders but muscular thumbed computer nerds.
The MOD is looking for ‘most unusual minds’ to provide future defence technology solutions.
Our new enemies, it seems, are not only extra terrestrials but face death by acne.
Convincing me that the future has left me behind.
Which is what makes the Daihatsu Copen so reassuring.
The Copen is about as futuristic as sand. It is the sort of car that has been around since the invention of string back gloves.
Certainly there are times when it is easy to wish the evolution of motoring had stopped here, before rearward facing cameras, vibrating seats and scent diffusers.
The Copen, should anyone be misled, is a loud, cramped car with suspension made from permafrost.
It is also some of the best fun you can have fully clothed.
This is the modernised version. Oh, nothing too radical. Daihatsu has simply double the size of the engine to1,300cc and reduced the price by £2,500 to £11,000.
Equipment includes seats, in a rather nice red leather, a steering wheel and some mirrors. Daihatsu has thoughtfully saved pages of press pack by also adding just air con, ABS, EBD, electric windows, alloys and a CD radio.
None of which really matters when you are on the road. Look, it is small, so small that the Copen is on the borderline of having to be ordered according to chest size. And there is absolutely nothing practical about it. Ideally this is a car for people who have had everything they own repossessed.
Oh but joy, 9.5 seconds to 60mph is not fast but in a car so well balanced and low it is far more enjoyable than four-litres of computer generated luxury saloon performance.
While we are at it, don’t expect to see the clock swing round to the Copen’s 112mph top speed. Not without your ears bleeding.
Think Vauxhall VX220 without the sheer terror and an electric roof.
One frighteningly advanced feature of the Copen is its self-regenerating catalytic converter that does something or other with nano technics. Er, wasn’t that the bad bit in I Robot?
Essentially however, the Copen is timeless and not a car for people familiar with Demon Attack or even Pac Man. It’s for those of us who think the most technical game you can play is darts.
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