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Steve Orme

Trinity Mirror Regionals Driving Force columnist STEVE ORME gives his take on everything from the car with the biggest cup holders (Ford Edge, 20oz) to congestion charges and how your money is spent getting toads safely across the road. It's motoring but not as you know it ...

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August 2007 Archives

Diesel's days are shortening

Posted by Steve Orme on August 31, 2007 1:23 PM

Sale, Manchester, 30 August 2007 (now there’s an international dateline you don’t see very often)- diesel may have reached saturation point as the fuel of choice for company cars according to GE Capital Solutions, Fleet Services.
This is after years of increases in popularity for the stinking, dirty, particulate, sulphurous fuel. Of course I’m not prejudiced.
Just 1.6 per cent of fleets show a rise in the number of diesels on compared to 25.1 per cent for the same quarter in 2006.
Delicious, tasty, libido enhancing petrol - which has been in long-term decline - appears to be stabilising or even showing a slight upward turn, with a net 2.7 per cent of fleets buying more petrol cars.
LPG is showing a decrease in use of 9.7 per cent .
However, interest in electric vehicles is higher than last year, with a net gain of 3.0 per cent.
Sorry? Are we talking about Universal Udder Dairies PLC here? Because if we are not there is no such animal in the fleet market as an electric car. Hybrids, you might like to bear in mind, run on petrol.
Unless, that is, the world of toilet paper merchandising is about to equip its travelling salesmen with milk floats.
cows
'Hey mate, if that's your company car you've got a case for constructive dismissal'
float

How long can you wait?

Posted by Steve Orme on August 30, 2007 12:45 PM

‘Drivers travelling on the M6 in the North West can now see real-time
information on how long their journey will take on electronic
roadside signs as a new service is rolled out across England.’- Highways Agency
This is excellent news and of use of the electronic information system. Next let’s have the Tesco price watch on the overhead gantries and regular updates on the FTSE 100 for those stuck in the tailbacks that at least they know the duration of.

Beat the car thieves- well that's the promise

Posted by Steve Orme on August 28, 2007 5:28 PM

Here’s a good one from the unstoppable e-mail press release machine.
CISTRAK is a unique vehicle tracking device which allows motorists to locate their vehicle within 10 seconds.
Once a car has been stolen, the owner telephones the device hidden within the car and an SMS with the location and postcode is sent directly to the mobile phone. The user can then call the police with exact details of the vehicle location which enables the police to locate and recover the vehicle quickly and easily.
That’s the claim. It sounds good.
Now can someone develop an option that has all the car doors lock and very angry snakey things released into the lap of the driver.

And if you belive that...

Posted by Steve Orme on August 23, 2007 11:59 AM

That nice Mr Cameron the Conservative, who was in our office here in Liverpool not long ago and is very tall and youthful, thinks delaying the right to drive will encourage young scrotes to clean up their acts, you know, stop wearing rough style hoodies and such like.
Young people of a criminal disposition would not be allowed to apply for their driving licence.
Capital!
After all none of them would dream of stealing a ca or driving unlicensed and without insurance would they?
Did someone say they have taken gullible out of the dictionary?

We're caught in a trap....

Posted by Steve Orme on August 17, 2007 9:54 AM

So, councils have been told not to be so quick with the old clamparoonian when dealing with motorists who audaciously threaten life as we know it with naughty parking.
Good. Not that they will listen. Something odd happens to people elected by as much as 10 per cent of their local populations and it’s not pretty.
Councils have also been warned that the idea of parking fines is not to boost their coffers for fair trade initiatives and diversification officers.
As if they would.
Local authorities are the scourge of British life. That’s only my opinion. Oh, and the opinion of my local peoples’ militia.
In Liverpool the owner of the docks, airport and, well, most important things really, has warned that imposing congestion charges would damage the city’s regeneration and general wealth.
This concern is misplaced. Any damage caused to the economy can easily be offset by higher parking fines.

Fat chance of exclusion zones around schools

Posted by Steve Orme on August 13, 2007 11:08 AM

On the day that rent-a-communist turned out to point and shout at the aeroplanes, we get the crazy suggestion that mums walk their kids to school.
This is because fatness is killing the planet.
Sprogs and parents are getting so obese, it seems, that the earth is struggling to carry them and so running up a hell of a sweat causing global warming. Is that the theory?
The reality is that people drive their snappers to school for many reasons, one being time.
In the modern world there is a phenomenon call the working mother and she helps to pay something called the bloody big mortgage and the jolly expensive council tax.
Of course the children could walk to school like the good old days that I lived in. Except the bleeding hearts and artists, to quote Floyd, keep letting all manner of nonces and swivel-heads out of jail after punitive 30 second sentences. It's just not safe.
Car exclusion zones around schools? Fat chance.

Can't see the wood for the trees

Posted by Steve Orme on August 8, 2007 11:43 AM

Mother nature is a wonderful thing. One of the most pointless and sly speed cameras I know is on a perfectly straight piece of dual carriageway with no pedestrian access. It is gleefully hidden behind a bridge support.
It is also totally pointless at the moment thanks to the growth rate this sodden year of elder trees, one of which has blinded the damned thing.
It will be interesting to see if the accident rate goes up before the leaves fall off in October.
Of course we should not lose sight of the underlying reason if this is the case. Global warming.
piggybank

The holiday from hell

Posted by Steve Orme on August 7, 2007 1:32 PM

August is a great time to be going to work. My journey times are slashed thanks to all those people off on their jollies. Good luck to you all and may the factor 10 long run down the back of your legs.
Frankly I can think of few things worse than attempting to leave the country at the moment. Attempting to get back in it perhaps.
Today Manchester Airport came to a halt because the genny behind the bike sheds broke down. Chaos.
Passengers, meanwhile, were advised to turn up as normal. You know three years before your flight in easily removed clothes.
This is so sensible. You may have no chance of flying but you will be able to take full advantage of the bargain airport car parking and delicious departure lounge food. At least you will feel you have been on holiday when you look at your bank balance.

It's a Mini shoe shop adventure

Posted by Steve Orme on August 6, 2007 12:19 PM

That’s Christmas sorted then. From December 1 you will be able to complement ownership of a Mini with your very own, well you wouldn’t want anyone else’s, limited edition training shoes.
Onitsuka Tiger and Mini have teamed up for the promotion. I know who Mini is but have never heard of Onitsuka. This is something I am pleased to admit because it means I am not a happening young person with more fashion sense that money sense.
The shoe marks the arrival of the Mini Clubman in November. I remember the Clubman of old and a pair of shoes were essential to it’s ownership, sports shoes where especially useful when push-starting this bag of leaky, rattling, scrap.
I am sure the BMW version is the pinnacle of automotive engineering. It better had be or I for one will monster it and its association with a pair of high fashion Japanese brothel creepers.
Over the years clothing and cars have often been thrown together in marketing promotions. Orvis, Jeep and pullovers for one. Rubber gloves and Lada estates for another.
But what was the daftest association? Come on, petrol fashion thinking caps on.
show

Cool or what?

It's only words

Posted by Steve Orme on August 1, 2007 2:33 PM

So, the Welsh wizards at DVLA Swansea, home of the lost application form have moved to ban combinations of letters of new registration plates that may be offensive.
The figures 5 and 7 - on new plates from September - may be used to represent letters S and T or S and Y in the imaginary world inhabited by people who personalise registration plates to read as a specific word.
That could have seen cars on the streets with registrations TE57 CLE (Testicle), EC57 ASY (Ecstasy), BA57 ARD (Bastard), MY57 ASH (My Stash), H057 AGE (hostage) and HE57 ABS (stabs).
Also banned is EA57 GAL (Easy Gal).
A DVLA spokesman said the plates were blocked "to avoid causing "general offence or embarrassment".
But a spokesman for the Association of British Drivers said: "The DVLA should be setting their priorities on more worthwhile issues - like reviewing safety."
What a stupid idea, that DVLA is in anyway there to help progress modern motoring.


This page contains an archive of all entries posted to Driving Passion in the August 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

July 2007 is the previous archive.September 2007 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the home page or by looking through the archives.