Opportunity knocks

We have all, I am sure, sat in front of a mean winter fire, clutching small beer and regretting not taking an opportunity that would have seen us cruising the Med in our own yacht instead of cruising to work in a 1985 Sierra.
Patio heaters are a bus that’s leaving the station and I’m not on it.
Since the cigarette ban, pubs and clubs have bought them by the thousand to keep smokers warm in the chill night air.
Thus the health fascists and government control freaks have, at a stroke, cranked up the levels of CO2 emissions, while earning millions for heater makers. Well done but obviously no cigar.
I would like to make my fortune from a wake up and smell the coffee spray. A kind of stimulant that stops people behaving like sheep and believing everything , no matter how contradictory or blatantly stupid (the tsunami was caused by global warming) they are told by ‘experts.’
Here’s one to watch out for. Increased mosquito activity is a sign of global warming.
No. Mozzies are not attracted by heat, they like carbon dioxide. If there are suddenly many more it will be down to the increase in patio heaters which they find especially attractive.
Save the whale, smoke indoors.