Police on Merseyside have a splendid new idea for curing the modern disease of driving while using a mobile phone or d-mobing as it is not known.
Using head mounted cameras to comply with hands free walking and sitting health and safety regulations, they will film phone users breaking the law by driving at the same time as telling the office they are in the car.
But here’s the genius of it. Pictures of people caught will be published in a name and shame campaign. Imagine that! How shameful is it to be seen in public with an old coal and steam Nokia never mind appearing in the newspapers without a chocolate zip-top razor ming-zinger (wap enabled).
I will never defend mobile phone use while driving. Even hands free just makes you look like a Billy no mates talking to himself. But at the same time I will also condemn animated nattering especially if it necessitates turning round to make a salient point to Doris in the back.
Cars aren’t for talking, they are for tuneless singing and nose picking.
While we are at it, using a mobile on the train should be a public order offence. Some journeys are a cacophony of noise that rivals twenty chimps making guest appearances for the Liverpool Philharmonic. Or even being trapped in a lift with Mika.
Mobile hones should be fitted with a small explosive device which detonates when ever the words ‘I’m on the train,’ are registered
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