Life on the grid is warming up for another Formula One season. A revs fest of skimpy tops and wasted Champagne.
And what better news could I bring you than how to own a Ferrari for less than forty quid. As if that’s not enough for another tenner you can also own your own Michael Schumacher! What a fantastic idea to keep the kids away from the fire.
The only drawback could be acceleration because these F1 masterpieces are made from Lego. Yes, we know all the jokes.
The car, with mini driver and engine is £39.99 while the full garage set up is £49.99.
So why would you want one? Well it’s a good way to while away the time waiting for the Australian GP to start in the rain.
When you’ve put together all 700 pieces here is some Grand Prix trivia to further entertain the family.
On average a driver loses five pounds during an F1 race. On average my mother-in-law loses £5-60p during a horse race.
F1 cars hit 60mph in 2.5 seconds - slightly slower than that lad down the street with the seven-pipe Corsa GTi Asbo.
Downforce technology is so good you could potentially drive an F1 car upside down. I once tried this with a Vauxhall and it’s not the same.
Tyres are the most important variable and are filled with nitrogen. Commentators, on the other hand, are filled with hot air.
GP drivers can quench their thirst by pressing a button on the steering wheel that feeds them water from a tube in the helmet. This, of course, would be an offence at your nearest traffic lights.
Speaking of traffic lights. Races are started by a series of lights on an overhead gantry. That’s a good way to use a gantry.
The one I pass under every day might as well be giving out last nights football results. Not a word about conditions up ahead but constant nagging about mobile phones and seat belts.
Here’s my offer. Post me to most pointless, badly composed or downright stupid messages you have seen and I’ll endeavour to find a prize for the best that’s better than a DVD press pack from Mazda. Watch this space, or somewhere close.
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