What I think we should do every Friday is take a look behind the £50,000 Audis and five-star car launches at the reality of life as a motoring hack.
For instance, Seat press office rang yesterday to ask if a driver could collect the Altea XL as early as possible. What Car? needed it pronto so it would have to be valetted, fuelled and not least driven to the south east.
OK, meet me at 8-15am at our Ormskirk office and I’ll get the Titfield Thunderbolt into Liverpool.
The collection driver started ringing me at 6-35am. Sadly for him my mobile was switched off until 7-50am. Somehow he had received the message that I would be meeting him at 7am.
At 7am I was busy meeting Kelly Brooke on a dreamy silver-sanded beach.
Eventually we met up. He with a bacon butty, me with a set of keys. Done deal.
Er, not quite. Just after the Morning Murder Express pulled out of the station he rang me: “Did you notice anything about the tyres?� Oh, yes, nothing gets past me. There were four of them. All black.
“It’s just the one of them is a bit flat, well a lot flat.�
That will be what we in the trade call a puncture.
“I’ll have to try and change the wheel.�
Correct. I can’t quite reach from here.
On this performance I reckoned the last people who would get a call would be at Seat so I tipped them off.
And sorry to the lads at What Car? if they had to hang around after lunch. Next time I’ll sleep with my Bluetooth in clutching a puncture repair kit. Just in case the pneumatic Ms Brooke rings.
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