I’m offering my speaking services to the Townswomen's Union of Pram Club Ladies Guild Institutes.
You can get away with murder. One group recently reported an uplifting talk on a gentleman’s replica crown jewels which had to be handled with surgical gloves. The meeting ended with all present concurring that they enjoyed the ‘crown jewels experience.’
Last week the Association of Really Nice Ladies held - and I quote - ‘a sit down fly-past to the theme from the Dambusters’. On my count girls, arms up, chocks away!
They would be sure to enjoy the illustrated presentation entitled A Knocking Bottom End and my anecdotal tale of being shunted up the rear by a man in a BMW.
Cars and motoring are fertile meadows in the landscape of double entendre. The recently deceased John Inman could have had a fine old time with Mrs Slokeham’s big ends and grease nipples had they set Are You Being Served? in a garage. They could have called it Are You Being Serviced?
Meanwhile I leave you with the tale of the man who went into his local service centre looking for a 710 filler cap. Confusion was rife until one of the staff asked him to point out on a customer’s car where this part could be found.
And there it is. Under the bonnet. OIL.
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