I’ve been writing about cars for almost 30 years now and as a result have developed a lot of sympathy for doctors and veterinary surgeons.
You can spot doctors at a party, they jamb themselves into corners and pretend to be Joseph Mengele to avoid questions about over-active toenails and embarrassing nasal discharges.
Vets, you might think, have the advantage. The patient almost certainly won’t be present: “Ooh, Seamus that’s why I brought this sample with me...�
For motoring hacks the probing tends to fall into three categories; what is the best car you have ever driven, what car should I buy and how much is a 1994 Satsuma Castanet GT11 worth with a Kenwood?The food mixer or the sound system?
So, under the heading your questions answered, and because I am going to a party on Friday night, some notes on yellow and black traffic officer patrols.
No, they can’t give you a speeding ticket. Or arrest drivers who insist on making man love to your back bumper.
Highways Agency patrols are able to stop and direct traffic or close roads, typically after an accident. They may also stand guard while a driver waits for the recovery services. However, you should remember that it is an offence to disobey a traffic officer which is punishable with a £1,000 fine and three bonus points.
I cannot help but feel they owe their jobs to the dwindling numbers of traffic police, over 1,500 having been replaced by Box Brownies.
I don’t subscribe to plodism. Some of my best friends are redundant police officers but one way or another government policy has put a thin vein of hatred in us all.
We are not alone, just different. I met a man in Sorrento called Nello who looked exactly like Kojak. Driving into Naples one day he pointed at an Alfa 156 police patrol car: “Hey, English cheap shoes, you-a know why Napoli polizi travel in-a twos? One can-a write and the other can-a read.�
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Dickie Pentchansky wrote...
Steve, Surely the new(ish) motorway signs, "Keep 2 Chevrons Distance From the Car In Front" are extremely dangerous. I almost killed myself the other day trying to keep up with a Porsche!
Posted by: Dickie Pentchansky | March 6, 2007 4:37 PM